Gray Kangaroo in Missbehave!

GRAY KANGAROO

Being an editorial assistant is really fun because it’s totally glamorous and lucrative. Actually, not really at all. What it does do is make you a little bit of a lush, ‘cause liquor makes poverty hurt less. So you can imagine how stoked I was that I no longer have to puke in my mouth every time I drink my non-top-shelf alcohol.

I filtered my good old standby Georgi through this awesome contraption called the Gray Kangaroo, and magically, it no longer tasted like it was made in a bathtub by some dude named Abner. Now my whole bar is filtered and since I refill this empty bottle I found behind my house, no one knows it isn’t Grey Goose.

A blind taste test [me, Sunday afternoon, sleep mask] proved that the Gray Kangaroo filter makes rubbing alcohol quality booze into rapper-endorsement grade liquor.

This is an invention from God (with help from some drunks, maybe). It removes impurities, makes hangovers less brutal, and you can get faced for cheap without having to put out. Buy it for $29.99 at graykangaroo.com – Olivia Allin